Eenie Meanie HerMione
by Pozest-Illusion
Summary: During 3rd year Hermione tries to decide which guy she should like: Harry or Ron? Complete.
1. Hmm

Eenie Meanie HerMione

Summary: During 3rd year Hermione tries to decide which guy she should like: Harry or Ron? One shot.

Dear Diary,

This is the absolute most final straw. I've got to choose, I can't just go around flirting with two guys. Especially when they are best friends. I've got to choose. I do tend to lean more toward Harry, because Ron is SUCH an imbecile, but I have to admit that he is a rather charming, witty, funny imbecile. And he cleans up ok… Oh, fudge, I think I like them both equally. This has got to stop I am going to stop everything right now, until I fix this. I'll just go with Harry. Wait, no, no, I take that back… I can't just make a spur of the moment decision like that. Like everything else, I must think through this clearly. Sure Harry can be fun, but as a possible boyfriend… I'd be the girlfriend of the boy who lived. I'm not quite sure I like that. I'm not quite sure I like him. Well, yes I like him, but I'm not sure if it's _that_ way…

Oh great I've just seceded in confusing myself even more.

Brilliant, Hermione.

Ok, I am NOT leaving this table until I figure this out…

This may take a while.

I don't care how long this takes. Ok yes I do, I haven't finished my homework yet… I need to resolve this now. Maybe I'll just go with Ron, he an be a bit of twit sometimes but, overall… Ok I'll admit I like red hair. But that doesn't mean anything, just because I like red hair does NOT, in any means, mean that I like My Ron.

Oh Merlin, I just reread that. I called him my Ron… Why did I do that? I should cross that out… Wait no, maybe that's my mind trying to tell me something… I mean I _never_ call Harry MY Harry… Obviously, by process of elimination, I like Ron. Bloody he-, no, no, no swearing in my diary…

I've thought about it… I think I actually do like Ron. You know after three years, you'd think I would have noticed but really…

I did NOT see this coming.

What AM I going to do?

All he does is fight with me…

I will figure this out… I swear…

But first I think I'll finish my homework…

Homework solves everything…

I wonder if Ron needs help with his homework…

A/N: The end, if anybody liked it and wants me to write another chapter, I will.

But if you hate it sorry, I couldn't get it out of my head and so I had to write it so I could stop thinking about it.. Oh Crod, speaking of homework…..


	2. Got a Plan?

Chapter 2 (Got a Plan.)

Ok I have a plan. I've done my homework, which was very difficult, seeing as I have soo much on my mind, but I finally have a plan. I think. I had a plan… Should've written it down. So here's what I'll do: Remember my old plan, or come up with a new one. Erm, I don't suppose locking myself in a broom closet is the smartest idea… Makes me seem like too much of a damsel in distress… Then again maybe that's a good thing… Ok, I know this sounds stupid. Ok it IS stupid, but anyway I will go right now and lock myself in a broom closet outside the Gryffindor common room. And then I'll see who gets to the door first. If it's Ron, I'll throw my arms around he in appreciation, and see how he reacts. Same if Harry gets there. I hope this works.

Ok, I have just now found that it is VERY hard to write in a dark broom closet but frankly I don't care… I've will now begin the knocking… I hear footsteps good… This is good. But I think they'll probably want to know how I got into the broom closet, and why I didn't just cast a spell. Ok I'll just tell them I left my wand in my other robes… Good. The footsteps are getting closer. I'm going to stop writing and start knocking more….

(After a while……)

I can NOT believe what just happened. It's gross, sick, and WRONG. To put it shortly, neither Harry nor Ron opened the door. But I didn't stop to look who had, I just assumed it was one of them, so I threw My arms around him, mumbling about how some 7th year had pushed my in, and I didn't have my wand. But before I could see who it was I heard a voice that I knew all too well, "That's all well and good Granger. But why, may I ask, are YOUR filthy mudblood arms, contaminating MY robes?"

Malfoy.

Brilliant.

I am SO stupid! How could it NOT occur to me that perhaps someone other than Ron, or Harry would open the door? And besides what was Malfoy doing on this side of the school? Not that I bloody care. Point is I will Have to come up with a new plan. A better plan. And soon.


	3. New Improved Plan

Chapter 3 (New, Improved plan)

Ok I now have a new plan. And I wrote it down this time too! Now if I could just remember where I put it…. Usually I'm much more organized than this…

Okay this is very furstrating, I already know I like Ron, why am I doing this?

Probably because I'm a bit bored, and I must admit, it's fun.

Ok so I'm scratching that broom closet idea because it obviously does NOT work. SO now what? Should I pretend to get attacked by a troll? Be petrified? No, I don't think so… I know something simple… I'll fall down the stairs! It must be expected in these long robed they have us wear. Brilliant, can't possibly be Malfoy now can it? Hmm just to make sure, I'll fall down the stairs of the girls dormintories… Wish me luck…

Ok… Not my smartest idea… I didn't know stairs could be so sharp! As I fell own the Stairs I ran into Ginny, soon we were both falling down the stairs. Harry checked on Ginny first, so I know he likes her. Sadly Ron checked on her first as well…. But she is his sister, and he DID check on me, after he made sure she was ok. Hmm.

Some days life just doesn't make sense I was walking through the hall when Malfoy popped up out of nowhere, "Heard you fell down the stairs… Pity." And he only sounded half as sarcastic as he usually does… WHAT IS UP WITH HIM? Must find out… Need new plan…..


	4. Planning Again

Chapter 4 (Planning Again)

I've really got to get more on top of this planning thing…. Once again I am at a lose for a good plan… A plan not to choose between Harry and Ron. Since Harry has made it clear that he likes Ginny… But a new and better plan, a plan to get Ron to admit he likes me. If he does like me… AH! This is still confusing. OF CORSE HE LIKES ME! I'm his best friend for Merlin's sake! Maybe I should just give up and become a spinster. It sure would be a lot less confusing…

Maybe I'll ask him for help on my homework… (Which I STILL haven't done.) Of course he probably got all the wrong answers… Oh well I'll just look up the real answers afterward. Sounds like a plan to me!

Well I think Ron is officially shocked. When I asked him for help on my homework, I swear his mouth dropped all the way to the floor. Which, let me tell you, is NOT attractive, think Fish. Then he mumbled a whole bunch, and I couldn't understand any of it, after 5 minutes if us standing there staring at each other, I grabbed my books mumbled, "Never mind." And dashed out of the common room, making my way to the library. I heard footsteps behind me; I whipped around, and guess who stood there? Rightio. Our Favorite (not) blond haired Ferret: Malfoy. And do you know what he said!

"Need help Granger?"

"Er… no, not from you."

"Why not?"

"Because you are an evil self centered git who has-"

"Shh", he shook his head, "Us evil self centered gits have feelings you know, Muddie."

I raised an eyebrow, "Did you just call me Muddie?"

"Mudblood, muddie, get it?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah I got it."

"Good… So need help?"

"NO! Why are you trying to help me!"

He shrugged, " I don't know, you look confused, more confused than usual."

"Thanks, not. Is it possible for you to say a sentence WITHOUT an insult?"

"Course it is Muddie, but what fun would that be?"

Oh it's on now, "Blondie."

He raised an eyebrow, "That best you can do? I've been called worse…"

"Man whore", I gasped, I hadn't meant to say that.

His eyes glittered, "Look you hurt my feelings!" He laughed and walked off.

I'm supposed to be the smartest girl in my year, and I still can't figure it out. Something major is happening with Malfoy, and frankly I haven't got a clue. Speaking of clues: Ron is so clueless! He thinks I was joking about asking him for homework help, and he told me that it's not nice to make fun of people's lack of intelligence or something like that… I'm going to need another plan….


	5. BloodyErChickens!

Chapter 5 (Bloody…err... Chickens!)

Ok, I have finally decided, that I'm not messing around with these so called (moronic) guys. See if I care if I never get a date? It's their job to come ask me out, of course that doesn't mean I'll wait for them… After all I haven't written to Krum in a while… But first thing is first: Find out what in Merlin's name is up with Malfoy…

Ok I just talked with him; our conversation went something like this:

"Hi."

"Hi, yourself, Muddy."

"Uh…"

"What?"

"Uh…Um…."

"Does me calling you muddy bother you?"

"Well… I _guess_ it's better than mudblood."

"Yeah, that's what I thought…"

"Though it does still technically have the same meaning…"

"Well Sorree, but some of us have mean reputations to uphold. Consider it a nickname."

"Why? Why are you being mean and nice at the same time? YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!"

Then he took his hand pushed my chin up! "Well we wouldn't want that now would we?"

I swear my mouth dropped open giving me the very attractive (not) goldfish look. "Uh..."

"Honestly Granger, and people say you're the smartest girl in your year", then he walked off and I was almost positive I heard him say, "I guess love really is blind…"

EWWW! AHHHHH! Gross gross gross gross! After the thought of _that_ my only thought was well pretty much what I just wrote… I could end up with Malfoy! Instead of Ron, who I actually _like_ or instead of sweet Harry! So I'll admit I did some thing a little stupid… I marched back into the Gryffindor common room, swearing to only go out for classes, and meals… And I found Ron…and I…. Kissed him. To quote the master, "Bloody hell!"


	6. End

Chapter 6 (End)

I am a horrible Person. I've wasted my first kiss. And why? To get the thoughts of Malfoy and I kissing out of my head. No, that wasn't the reason. To make sure Malfoy wasn't my first kiss? No, that doesn't sound right either…

Ok fine, there was no reason. I kissed Ron for absolutely no reason. And I enjoyed it. Maybe I should be spontaneous more often… But while I was kissing Ron (my gosh that looks strange in words), I saw Harry, over Ron's shoulder. The look on his face! I really don't know what he was oogling for. Hasn't he ever seen a girl enjoying her first kiss with his best friend? Honestly. Beside its sooo completely obvious that he has a thing for Ginny. Why doesn't he just snog her, and get it over with, worked for me.

Except Ron is still at a complete loss for words. Whenever he sees me he gets this dopey grin on his face, turning bright red at the same time. Recently he even managed to mumble out a few sentences, none of which made any sense.

Here is how I'm going to handle the Malfoy problem: I'm going to get a boyfriend. I'm pretty sure that even Malfoy wouldn't go after a girl with a boyfriend. I nominate Ron. Firstly because I've kissed him, secondly I like him, and thirdly he seems the most likely choice. Now the new question is how do I get him to take me out, and then how to make it look like it was his idea…

Well, not to worry I'm supposedly the smartest girl in my year… I'll think of something…

Aha! I have thought of something! I shall use my beloved friend! Harry! He'll think of something!

Ok, I'm back from talking with Harry, who actually wasn't as helpful as I'd hoped he'd be. He promised to drop a few hints to Ron. Subtle, of course…

Ok Never ever asking Harry to drop subtle hints again. Apparently subtle is NOT his middle name. Ron just came up to me and Said, "Harry says that you want me to ask you out."

I am sooo going to get Harry for this. Oh Yes. I am.

I don't think I even answered Ron because I was so mad at Harry… Oh crap, Class begins in like five minutes must be off…

(Later.)

I. Hate. My. Life. As I was jogging (I was late) to class, who should come jogging up next to me, but Malfoy. "So Granger… Do you have a boyfriend?"

Apparently Malfoy's middle name isn't subtle either. Well what was I supposed to say to that? 'No?' I don't think so.

So what did I do? I grabbed the boy nearest to me, who just happened to be Ron. "Yeah, actually, I do. Isn't that right Ron?"

"Huh? What? Er… Oh yeah…" Ron kind of gave me a bit of an odd look, but he went along with it.

"Huh. I should have trusted that a mudblood such as yourself would have awful taste in boys…"

"Don't call her that" , Said Ron, bravely defending me.

"I can call her whatever I want, and you can't do a thing about it." Sneered Malfoy.

"Oh yeah?" We were all still running to class, not late yet. So Ron stuck out his foot, tripped Malfoy, and grabbed my hand, and we ran. Oh yes, we ran. We made it to class on time too. The same cannot be said for Malfoy who made it to class five minutes late.

Later I thanked Ron for saving my from the wrath of Malfoy he said, "That's what boyfriends are for, right?"

Yes, he is right. In every way, shape and Form.

The end.


End file.
